If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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