Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I party with great urgency now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
