Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
