I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize