Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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