No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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