I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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