He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Boobs speak an international language.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
