Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
