I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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