I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
