what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
