this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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