Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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