We named our party play list daddy issues
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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