too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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