I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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