To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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