It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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