White coat. Heels.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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