Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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