after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
