i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
