Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Less talking, more tequila
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
