Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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