I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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