Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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