But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Randomize
