Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
