I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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