'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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