You're so nebulous sometimes
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
