Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
