I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I pour the whiskey from now on
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
