Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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