Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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