Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
