And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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