She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
