Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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