I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
