So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
