I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
