can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
