oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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