Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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