It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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