I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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