I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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