How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
