similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
