How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
