member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
