i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
