this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
