is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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