The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
either way he was missing a nipple.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
