ugly people sure do ruin things
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
