Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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