yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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