So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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