There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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