There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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