yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
