Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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